I have used a similar title before, back in October, when all sorts of school-related things had to be organized, parties had to be attended, birthday gifts had to be wrapped; to make a long story short: CHAOS HAD TO BE DEALT WITH. This title, in case you were wondering, is also stolen from the lyrics of Robbie Williams’ song Love somebody. Just sayin’ - so that at the end of the day you can brag about how you have actually learned something by reading this blog.

So much is going on these days, I rarely find the time to blog about what’s currently happening. Ergo, this bullet point list:

• My friend N has accepted the study/apprenticeship deal that she had applied for and passed with flying colors. As I have mentioned before she’s flying up to Scotland at the end of the month to check out the company that will train her. She is, however, going to be studying here in Germany, flying back and forth all the time, so she’s currently looking for an apartment down in Cologne where the private college is located. I’ll be going to Cologne with her to look at a couple of places next Tuesday. It should be fun!

• My mom’s birthday was on the 11th, and so was my grandma’s. We had a cook-out here at my parents’ house and the usual crowd showed up. We put some brats and some steaks on the grill and had tatersalad with it and, you know, whatever the heck else people brought along. My uncle P and I had built Cornhole boards last summer and we put them out to play last night as well. Obviously, his girlfriend and I beat my brother and him effortlessly; THE GIRLS BEAT THE BOYS, just in case that needed clarification.

Grandma and all four of us will go to brunch at one of my favorite places ever, the Bernstein, tomorrow morning. I’ll go and pick her up from her house and then get my mom, dad and brother from our place and then on we’ll roll!

• My other grandma’s sister Anni died this morning in an old people’s home. She had been physically challenged all her life and over the past couple of months her condition had worsened dramatically. The doctors say, she basically died of starvation. Her body had been too weak to accept any sort of nutrition any longer. Other than my grandma, nobody is particularly upset about this - meaning, that we can go on with our lives because her death was really just a release to herself, above all else.

What bothers me is that I had promised Anni to come see her before going off to Kentucky back in 2005 (!) and I didn’t and also haven’t visited her ever since then. This seems especially cruel, now that she’s no longer with us.

Tonight I went to my grandma’s place to write addresses on the funeral notifications. I did the same for her when her husband - my grandpa - died a couple of years ago. It’s depressing but I’m obviously always glad to be of help. The funeral is next Thursday.

• I’m having trouble figuring out what to do about television at my new apartment. I won’t have cable TV or anything which doesn’t bother me but I need to have my TV and my DVD player with me. The thing is that there is no room to put my almost-vintage only two-year-old CRT-TV but I hate those silly flatscreens because the quality is never as good as on CRT screens no matter how much money you pay. My grandma has a smaller CRT-TV that she doesn’t need anymore so I may just use that one.

The girl that is renting the apartment to me suggested that she just leave her small flatscreen-DVD-recorder-smooth-black-blue-light power station in there for me but I hate these things and I’d rather just have my grandma’s old TV.

My dad is going to find out tomorrow how big or small my grandma’s CRT actually is and then I guess I’ll check with that girl how much room there really is left and I’ll make a decision based on all that.

• In other apartment news, I have been buying a few more things that are not worth photographing (there not as photogenic as, say, a can opener - geez, I mean, did you think I’d take pictures of anything?) - such as a funny bottle opener, a measuring cup and an electric kettle (is that the right word?).

• Also, my dad and I have been checking online to get me a better cellphone deal. I never really use my cellphone to actually call people because I hate talking on the phone and love short, concise text messages but once I will have moved to the apartment in Aachen I won’t have any other phone than my cell. So far we haven’t really found anything satisfying and my dad is somehow excited about the idea that with a new deal they will probably throw in a new phone and I’m all like, NO TOO MUCH IS CHANGING AND I LIKE MY PHONE.

• My parents are debating where we’re going to go on vacation and if we should go. They are determined to squeeze in some sort of quality time at the beach with the whole family between now and my moving-out around July 27th. It’s getting alarmingly close to total madness. The worst thing is that they just won’t decide! In the case that we would actually rent a house on the coast, it would be as of next Friday which is less than a week away. For heaven’s sake, just say yes or no already!

Not really.

It’s the season again and although it seemingly just started, I’m already aggrivated. I hate allergies. It’s the same every year: all throughout fall, winter and most of spring I tend to forget about how annoying they truly are and then there’s one day, usually in May, where all hell breaks loose and I can’t even get up because my eyes are all swollen and itchy, my throat itches, my nose is drippy, and I’m in a general state of, SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! That day is today.

I’m supposed to go to my aunt’s birthday party today. So now on top of not wanting to go, anyway, I have to deal with the allergies.

I hate going out when they’re this bad because I just look all deformed and tired and I’m really uncomfortable. My brother said he’d only make a quick stop there tonight so maybe instead of sitting there all night long, I may just go with him instead.

I hate any sort of medication but my mom managed to convince me to take a pill every night for the allergies which I’ve been doing since the beginning of May and I thought everything was fine because I, then, didn’t have any major problems anymore.

Turns out that, evidently, the season actually just started today.

I love summer. Not.

In all seriousness, I CANNOT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS.

My dad’s 53rd birthday was last Tuesday and we had a bunch of people over to celebrate. The weather played along nicely and so we ended up sitting outside around the fire until it was pitchblack. Nothing special, though. It’s always a same people, different year kind of event. This time, it helped me forget my Biology exam for a few hours. I still feel nauseaus, though. I am not prepared and I am scared. And I want this to be over. I can’t wait for the relief when - as Shakespeare would say - the hurly-burly’s done, when the battle’s lost and won. As usual, my problem is that all I do is imagine that moment after the exam, that wave of happiness and freedom that just will have to overcome me. I don’t, however, imagine the actual exam. For some reason I can’t. Which, I’m sure, will make it harder to get through the exam. I don’t even care about the grade, I just want to get it over with but twenty minutes is a freakishly long time to be asked questions about biological stuff. The exam is tomorrow morning at 10.30. Later that same afternoon I can go and ask for my grade.

And although there still is a slight possibility of me having to go back and do an oral History exam because I did so bad at the regular written exam, I already know what I’m going to do as soon as I get home tomorrow. I am done with useless, stupid studying of random crap I don’t give a damn about.

Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights got here yesterday and I can’t wait to dive into these books. This entry’s title is a quote from Wuthering Heights which I loved.

Until then, I’ll just have to hang in there and get the exam over with. I did some more studying this morning and felt a little more confident for a second but now my mind feels completely blank again. I’ll go try to find something to eat now and then probably watch a few more Gilmore Girls episodes with my brother who is hooked now, as well - Ha!, take a shower, drive into town for my Dutch class, get home, die, study some more, die again, try to sleep.

Die. Wake up.

Shake uncontrollably.

Throw up.

Go to school.