Went to Aachen again (4-hour drive there, 4-hour drive back, insane traffic again) to sign the lease for my apartment. I’m thrilled to move there now because Aachen looked prettier than I remembered and I went to check if there is, in fact, a Starbucks 500m (0.3 miles) from my apartment and, YES THERE IS. So, everything’s going well on the apartment front.

I also finally finally finally received the enrolment forms for Maastricht University in the mail today. So I’m gonna go and read through those in a minute.

Didn’t have time to do that yesterday because as soon as I got home my friend J called to confirm our plans for today, then I hit the shower, picked up my friend N, ran to the store to buy peaches, strawberries and grapes, went back to my house to quickly fix some fruity salad, and went to our friend V’s house to watch Casablanca.

Which we didn’t actually end up watching because we had to keep talking since we hadn’t seen each other for so long and, thus, couldn’t keep up with the movie. So then we watched one that didn’t need much attention and then Ocean’s Eleven which we had all seen at least twice. That they acted as though Casablanca was a boring movie and then kept their mouthes shut during the other movies kinda pissed me off.

Side note: my friend V brought to our attention that Brad Pitt either eats or drinks something in every scene of Ocean’s Eleven (except for maybe two or so when he’s in that SWAT team uniform or whatever). Also, he has an annoying way of chewing food. That is something I had once noticed in Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

Fell into bed at 2am sharp, endlessly tired. More details tomorrow.

The official graduation ceremony of my high school as well as prom - or Graduation Ball, as we call it here - was last Saturday, June 7. I’ve known for a while now that I had passed all exams and was, in fact, going to graduate but this was the real deal.

I ended up not going to prom which is not surprising at all and after having seen pictures from it, I’m glad that I didn’t. Hell, after seeing what people were wearing to the morning ceremony I didn’t want to go to prom anymore! I just wouldn’t have fit in, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable.

I’m glad it’s all behind me now. I’m not the kinda gal that likes pretty, formal clothes or tiny champagne flutes. I need loud music, beer and cowboy boots and strong wind and fewer people. Also, I need somebody to tell me to stand still when my dad’s trying to get a picture of me. Geez, it wouldn’t have hurt to quit moving for a second, now would it, he said afterwards. But oh well.

As expected, short dresses, champagne and summer heat made the whole thing more fun than it maybe should have been. The programme inside the auditorium was beautiful and moving. However, the only time I almost cried was when people started applauding upon our principal saying, I’LL NOW FINISH UP MY SPEECH. I felt really sorry for her but that was just me, I guess. Everybody else applauded and cheered and laughed.

To me, the most important day, the sad day, the day that high school ended was my last day of class because that’s when I stopped seeing everybody. And that’s when I actually missed them for a while, when I couldn’t imagine taking my next steps without them around me. Those were the thoughest days of my life because I fell and I fell and I fell and nothing and nobody was there to keep me from falling, suddenly everything was wide open. Those amazing kids of my class that I am so fucking proud of for doing such an amazing job, for facing this challenge that I’ve had to face, all of us together - it won’t be like that again. Ever. On that last day of class, that had become clearer than anything else.

But I’m okay now and Saturday was just a formality. I went in, got my certificate, my papers - and got the hell out of there.

No need to cut open old wounds, to let it eat my heart away again. Because deep down I know that I’m still hurting, and I will be for a while.

My former best friend N, who has become more of a real friend to me again over the past couple of months because we had to do a lot of work together, came over today because she had asked me to help her prepare for an interview for an apprenticeship/studying grant.

She originally applied for this very popular system of being an apprentice, while also attending classes at university at the same time, at the company’s headquarters based in Germany. Her application was rejected but they offered her a place - well, not so much the actual spot but the opportunity for an interview - at the company’s Scottish headquarters. I know, Scottland, of all places! - right?

However, I am really excited about this because for some reason when I think Scottland I automatically think Ireland and in my head both are about the same thing as far as landscape, language and national quirks go. I am aware that that may upset true Scotts but, I’m sorry, that’s the way I feel and besides, it’s more a compliment, really, than anything else.

Because when I think Ireland, I think of a wild ocean, an open sky, gorgeous cliffs and endless plains. Ireland, in my head, equals beauty. Ergo, Scottland is a beautiful, magical place.

When N thinks Scottland, she thinks Scotch, drinking games, pubs. She thinks grey cities, oil rigs, chemicals. Which is fine, I guess, because that’s what she’s looking for: a future job in the general field of anything chemical and this apprenticeship combined with studying is her perfect chance.

Thing is, her English is not the best. When I say that, I really mean this: she has trouble putting together an actual sentence and while she’s not bad at all at understanding written texts in English, she will have trouble getting through a whole interview. I have wondered whether it’s a smart move to even consider applying for this thing because if her English isn’t good enough for an interview, how is she going to manage university classes in English? I have told her this but at the same time I encouraged her to go through with it. It’s definitely worth a try and, after all, when in life will one ever get a chance like this again?

Going off to Scottland when you’re first moving away from home? Sure does sound like the perfect dream to me.