Supposedly there’s a Starbucks 500m (0.3 miles) from my new apartment.

Could it be more perfect? I think not.

Today is a national holiday and my mom and dad headed out on a bike ride this morning. After having one of their impossible fights, that is. One of those that had my mom in tears. I have no clue what it was about this time but I know that I’m getting tired of them trying to play all normal and happy whenever me and my brother come around like, WHAT’RE YOU LOOKIN’ AT.

They left before noon and have not come back home yet. Now, that wouldn’t normally bother me all that much but it is almost 5 in the afternoon now and besides the fact that I can’t think of anyone who would want to go on a bikeride for that freaking long, I am hungry. As in, yes I had a small baquette-y roll this morning but THAT WAS NINE HOURS AGO SO NOW I HAVE STOMACH PAINS.

I just hate it that we never have any food at home. Nothing that will actually work as a meal. I do have a car here, seeing as they took their bikes, so McDonald’s would be a heavenly option but I am completely broke. I don’t have so much as a dollar for a cheeseburger.

This sucks. No wonder I can’t loose weight. Eating once a day but having to eat an entire cow then, is by no means an acceptable diet.

What do you do when you have to just hang in there and wait for the next thing to happen and there’s absolutely nothing there that could distract you from the overwhelming thought that TOMORROW you have to succeed at your final German exam which directly contributes to your graduation credits?

My mom, my brother and I tried to make time pass by slaughtering a coconut. With a screwdriver and a hammer.

And - What do you know? - it worked.

Coconut juice - or milk, I guess is what it’s called - started a-flowing…

… until about half a glass was filled with the coconutty fluid. And although it kinda smelled like my mom’s Jil Sander Sun shampoo, it did not taste good. So we set the glass aside and went back to work. There was a very hard coconut shell to be cracked open violently.

The screwdriver destroyed this Perfect Wonder of Nature in a heartbeat under fifteen minutes. I’m sure, there are smarter ways to get to the white stuff inside a coconut but this is Germany and we don’t usually eat coconuts.

The shell had such pretty colors! Doesn’t it look like bark of a tree? So beautiful. Albeit, not that useful. Not to us, anyway. For the coconut, this used to be a safety shell, securing it from its environment. I’m thinking, nature very obviously created coconuts before humans with screwdrivers came along.

The inside was beautiful as well. Isn’t it astonishing how perfect nature is? Its colors, its shapes, its textures? The natural architecture of a coconut is so perfect, almost as if to say WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I AIN’T CAPABLE OF ANYTHING LESS THAN PERFECT. And I am not kidding. I could cry tears of joy.

Eleven and a half hours left until the German exam. I haven’t studied enough and I know it. I did crack a coconut, however, and found that it looks much better than it tastes.

So at least I accomplished something. Or not.