First of all, Up here by Terra Naomi is a great song. Perfect lyrics to just scream out in an angry sing-along alone in one’s apartment. Just saying. SPEAKING OF BEING IRRITATED, there’s a maniac living in my attic, and I’d like for him to hightail it outta there immédiatement. – That would be French for immediately; it’s really not that difficult a language. This crazy person has been bugging me for days now which is why I shared these gems on my Twitter:

Guy who just moved into apartment above mine is just as much of a stomper as Girl who lived there before him. COME ON WHAT ARE THE CHANCES.

WHY is this person living upstairs such a ridiculous idiot? Who stomps around their freaking apartment all. day. long? AHRGH.

Honestly think a crazy person moved in upstairs. There’s humming and banging and crashing and stomping and… I WANT MY PEACEFUL HOME BACK.

Latest theory is that some illegal worker is doing work in the upstairs apartment over night. Nothing else makes sense.

Would also explain that he speaks French. Sigh.

There we go again with the French. It’s not that difficult a language, true, but it’s also not that easy a language to escape when you live only a short walk from the Belgium border. And when, say, your landlord is from Belgium and may just be renovating one of the apartments above yours at the same time someone new moved in which then caused all the commotion and subsequent confusion on your part. This is all hypothetical, of course.

Except it’s not. Belgian Landlord And Gang are apparently working on something up there all day every day until eternity and the new kid that moved in is a stomper. Or, possibly, just has crazy wild karate sex with his girlfriend up against walls, floors, and ceilings? I don’t even know what that means but yes, girlfriend. Here’s how I know: he just stopped by all, Hi I’m F, I just moved in upstairs, and could my girlfriend please borrow your blow-dryer for a second?

To which I politely replied, Sure, just give me my FIVE DAYS back, asshole. Kidding. He seemed nice enough. Solves the mystery of who the hell is making all that noise. Doesn’t give me a reason WHY… but whatever. I’m just glad it’s not some elderly lunatic roaming the hallways at night but a fellow uni student. Might call him Eff (YES AS IN FUCK), though, for anger management purposes.

My cranky grandma-needs-her-sleep obsession with this story might indicate that I’m not alright overall – even though the big orange letters promise there’d be no mention of it. No, I’m not doing too well. But never mind that.

Idiot(s) from upstairs? TELL YOUR STORY WALKIN’.