What’s new at UM

(For those if you who don’t know yet: UM = University of Maastricht, or actually Universiteit Maastricht in Dutch.)

Well, the two new courses have started. One is called Knowledge and Criticism which is going to be interesting because it critically discusses the complete history of science and its relation to today’s modern (Western) culture. The second one is called Reading Philosophy and basically teaches students the skill to really read original texts by Descartes, Hume, Keats, Kant and others which I’m pretty sure I’ll despise.

We had the first lecture on Monday morning and this guy shows up, he couldn’t have been older than thirty-five. Which, I’ll admit isn’t that young but I always expect lecturers to be these crazy old professors. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s gay which makes him even more awesome because it doesn’t fit the stereotype. On top of that, he was dressed very well and spoke the prettiest English I have heard in a while. Anyway, he wanted to show us something online during the lecture but no one could see anything on the screen because the morning sun shone almost aggressively. Then, this ensued:

Pretty English Prof: Oh shoot - you know, I really really don’t want to close the blinds. [lecture hall begins to errupt in mumurs] The sun is so beautiful today. I’d hate to shut it out. We’ll just have to do without the beamer. [looks admiringly into the blazing sunlight] I’ll just describe to you what you would see here if the blinds were closed.

So of course we were all like, DUDE JUST CLOSE THE FRIGGIN’ BLINDS ALREADY. SUNSHINE AIN’T NO SHINIER TODAY THAN ANY OTHER DAY. We never did see what was on that screen.

(I found his Facebook profile, by the way. He has a Dr. title, for Pete’s sake! What’s he doing on facebook?)

Then, I had the first class meeting for the Knowledge and Criticism course and it wasn’t yet time and a few people were sitting in the room already when, again, this guy comes in. He seriously couldn’t have been any older than 25. He had the wildest beard which made him look all scruffy and a little older but he wore a purple sweater (a v-neck, by the way, which totally could not contain the heaps of chest hair he didn’t even try to cover up) and these cool boots and he just kinda walked in all casually, just like all of us had before - anticipating what the new group’ll be like. Then, the following occured:

Girl [to Chest Hair Guy]: Do you know the teacher?
Chest Hair Guy: I AM THE TEACHER.
Class: What. do you. mean. [blinks in disbelief]
Girl: Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. You don’t… look it, mister…?
Chest Hair Guy: Just call me Fabian.

(I found his Flickr account which then again is kinda cool. Take a look. And, oh my God, he also has a Facebook profile. Seriously, what kind of uni tutor has a Facebook account?) But this university is just full of young people trying to pass for legitimate tutors and profs, it seems. Although so far they did great jobs. It’s not like they’re less qualified than teachers of higher age. It’s just - I had always pictured uni to be all about grey haired, wise persons of authority who(m?) you truly looked up to. After these two encounters, I figured that maybe the coordinator of the Reading Philosophy course embodied said type of man. However, the fact that we were going to watch the movie Matrix (which I absolutely hate, by the way - it bores me to pieces) during the first lecture should have maybe been my cue to just give it up already.

Because - I was sitting in this new lecture hall, way in the back, all sleepy and ready to start hatin’ on philosophers, when - and I shit you not - the dead-on impersonation of Chace Crawford walks in. He was the cherry on top in a merit of ways. The prettiest, the youngest - but hopefully the last. Honestly, he came in wearing a handsome black coat and a fancy scarf and his hair all tousled with architectural precision and his cheeks subtly flushed from the bike ride (JUST LIKE CHACE CRAWFORD’S ALWAYS ARE) and I just couldn’t help but think, yeah okay, I don’t mind some eye candy randomly thrown in every once in a while BUT WHERE ARE ALL THE REAL PROFESSORS? Chace Crawford wannabe’s real first name is Amadeus, by the way, which gives you a pretty good impression of the kind of insanity and humor I’m dealing with here. Who names their kid Amadeus anymore? (And yes, he of course also has a Facebook page.)

Also, please, God, make sure that no one ever finds out that I’ve been googling my profs. That would seems weird and stalker-esque to an outside person. And myself. And the profs.

Now: off to do more reading to possibly be able to contribute anything to what these profs (insert McCain quotation marks) call university (insert McCain quotation marks).