An outlook

I haven’t been depressed lately. At all. I’ve been out of school for a little over a month and although not everything is always easy and fun, I haven’t felt that pressing, melancholic weight of depression.

Which is good news, oh God, it is such good news. I had hoped for my depression to stop when school was over forever because it tended to be the cause behind any form of unhappiness I experienced. Although, of course, there’s always a difference between unhappiness and depression and the truly evil part of that - actual depression - seems to have died off with the last day of school.

My oral Biology exam, the Graduation and Graduation Ball are still coming up and just talking about it makes me nauseaus but other than that I feel relieved and excited about it all finally coming to an end. Friends of mine keep telling me how sad they are that high school is over and I’ve had difficulties at first as well but now, that I haven’t seen any of my former classmates for five weeks, I don’t care any longer. In fact, I’m surprised how little I care.

I’ve made different plans for the rest of the year already and without high school the possibilities appear endless. Aside from moving into my own place and starting university, I have decided to try to read as many classics as I possibly can. Dramas, short stories, novels, plays - whatever I can think of.

Here’s the list of all titles I have so far: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Jane Eyre, Little Women, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Importance of Being Earnest, Moby Dick, Robinson Crusoe, Frankenstein, Animal Farm, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Lord of the Flies, Brave New World, Romeo and Juliet, Death of a Salesman, Catcher in the Rye, A Tale of Two Cities, Oliver Twist, The Scarlett Letter, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Wuthering Heights, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, and The Call of the Wild.

I doubt that I will ever read them all and so I’m gonna have to come up with some sort of system. Those in italic font are more or less my final choice. I really can’t predict how much time I’m gonna have because I’ll be doing tons of reading for uni, too, nor how much money I’ll actually have. Amazon sells these classics for about four euros each, though, so that’s not too bad. Then again, it’s not like I don’t have other stuff I, seemingly, need to get.

It’s funny. The character Rory on Gilmore Girls has made education seem less boring to me and has given me confidence in the fact that reading a lot is not actually a bad thing. I’m really, really glad.

On the other hand, television makes studying look so easy. People grab their books, sit in a corner and ten minutes later they’re good to go. Nobody seems to have a problem with remembering stuff. Which is another clue that televsion series are very unreal. Ergo, I need to get my act together and do more studying and hope that it will help somehow, that maybe, just this once, information will end up branded into my brain cells.

I’d say it’s worth a try but that would mean fooling myself into something untrue. Major sigh.